Sunday, December 25, 2005

Christmas at Lambeau Field

Brett Farve, back to pass…long throw…caught by Driver! He’s rushing, he’s at midfield – he’s stopped at the 30-yard line!

At was at that moment that victory looked – if only for a second – like a reality for a Green Bay. Brett Farve, who according to the little box on the screen, had 35 career comebacks. It was up to him once again, and victory was more then just a field goal away. They needed a touchdown, and they needed it fast. The clock, already low on time, was ticking away steadily (Green Bay had already used up all their timeouts)… He drops back to pass – to let lose with one final pass, one final win at home, just one more catch for the game…

Christmas-time in Green Bay is always comes in the dead of winter, when the snow is coming down hard and the wind is bone-chilling… the Packers defence thrives in weather like this, as their opponents wither up and die in the cold as Green Bay’s infamous defence smothers them. This is how Green Bay defeated Carolina, how they beat the Cowboys, how they made it to the Super Bowl year after year in the 1990s.

But that was then; this is now. Green Bay’s chances of a Super Bowl ended long, long ago. Their defence is a lowly # in the league and their lone bright spot this season is out for the season with a torn MCL. Brett Farve, once one of the best Quarterbacks in the league is in what will surely be his final season – his best days having long since passed.

But things can change – at once point today, on Christmas Day of all days, the Chicago Bears were ahead by 17 points. But Brett Farve had some of his old self left in him to give…

It was about halfway through the third when Antonio Chatman received a punt deep in his own end and returned it – 85 yards – for a touchdown. 24-14. Slowly the minutes passed in Lambeau Field…the score remained the same. But, as the game began to wind and a Packers victory began to look impossible, Green Bay drove over 60 yards into Chicago’s territory and Ryan Longwell kicked a much-needed field goal to bring the game within reach. 24-17. Green Bay went for the onside kick – Chicago recovered – but had to punt it away with over a minute left. It was all up to Farve, once again.

And on the first play it went a-okay – Brett Farve completed a long pass to Donald Driver, who ran the ball up to the Chicago 30 yard line. It was within reach for Green Bay now – they were just one play away from the game-tying touchdown. But first they had to spike the ball, as they had no timeouts left. Second down – Farve gets sacked for a loss. Third down – Farve is sacked yet again as the clock keeps ticking down towards zero. Fourth down.

Farve drops back to pass…has time…long throw down the right side of the field into a crowd…and it’s picked off!

Suddenly, with one catch, with no time on the clock, Chicago is into the playoffs with a first round bye as Green Bay is left at the bottom of the league, waiting for Draft Day. They’re not down far enough to get the Reggie Bush pick, but they should get high enough that they can draft a decent QB.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Assorted X-mas notes from the Sports Desk

Big, big NBA game on Christmas Day… The LA Lakers - led by a recently resurging Kobe Bryant – are quickly making up for lost time and look to continue this against Officer Shaq and the Miami Heat. This will be a very, very good game – quite the Christmas present from ABC Sports.

***

The Raptors have a tough streak ahead of themselves for the end of the month, but have two games against the struggling (and that’s putting it mildly) Atlanta Hawks coming up – if the Raptors are going to finally win a home game, this is it. Their upcoming game against Detroit and San Antonio will be interesting, too, if only in a statistical sense: The Raptors are a surprising 4 for 5 against sub .500 teams in December and have beaten the Hawks in their only match up this year. Could boosting above the sinking Knicks be too far ahead?

***

Now that Hockey Canada has released its rosters for the Olympics, all the ‘fans’ of Todd Bertuzzi are coming out of the woodwork – and Quebec has been strangely silent to that issue, instead focusing on an alleged slur against a French Canadian Referee by Shane Doan – this is the same province that not too long ago floated the idea of putting out it’s own French-Canadian hockey team… Perhaps it’s just me, but do they have much of a right to argue about who can represent the whole country when they – almost at the same time - want to create their own team?

***

But hey, let’s include such stars as Rick Nash (who is an injury-prone question mark), Joe “4 seasons over the hill” Sakic and Rob Blake instead of players like Eric Staal or Jason Spezza (Who, as of December 23rd, are the #4 and #6 scorers in the NHL) and get angry that Sidney Crosby wasn’t even named to the practice squad – never mind that he has very little international experience at this level… And hell, while we’re inviting older players with Experience, let’s get Mark Messier, Lanny McDonald and Dale Hunter to play, too!

***

Johnny Damon – Yankee in the centerfold. Well, Boston, let’s hope that the Bruins and the Celtics have bad years, then maybe your Red Sox will look good – Wait: The Bruins are 12-17-6 and the Celtics are 11-14, while the Sox made the postseason yet again…Why aren’t these loud, vocal Boston fans protesting the Joe Thornton trade instead? That trade decimated the Bruins, who are likely to remain in the gutter for years to come…

***

The Jays have a pitcher they don’t want – Batista – a fielder they can use to trade – Orlando Hudson – and a hole they need filled – power hitter. Look for them to unload both in a trade that will be essentially worthless, like as Hunter Thompson once said: “Like a used Mattress for a $300 bill”, possibly to Chicago for Frank Thomas

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Not even yr. A-game was enough/Some weird line for Chad Johnson/NFL Week 16

“Soon the trees will be bare and standing stripped
like ghostly silhouettes against the late autumn sky
Their summer glory lying in a dark mess on the ground…
Now the darkness of night will come early…”

- Graham Dean

Sunday afternoon, high above the field at the RCA Dome, a group of older men in a private skybox enacted their yearly tradition, a bit later then usual, but to them is was surely just as – if not more – sweet as usual. And as they sipped their drinks, popped corks and cheered, one lonely back slowly walked off the field in shame and defeat.

Yes Virginia, the Colts can be beaten. Their almost impossible 13 game winning streak has been snapped – snapped by the team that lost in overtime to the Steelers last year and lost last week to the Dolphins, of all teams. Not even the late game heroics of Payton Manning was enough to save the Colts – they had been ground down all game and by the time the Colts started to show themselves as what they are, it was much, much too late.

Tony Dungy has all but effectively blown his shot at football immortality. Everybody remembers that Don Shula was the coach of the 1972 Dolphins, but who remembers that Sam Wyche coached the 1988 Bengals?

Wait, who cares about those boring comparisons? It’s time to get off this ugly and boring tangent and on to something else – after all, that loss is Old News, almost a week old now. And there’s more interesting stuff going on in Cincinnati right now with Chad Johnson.

It seems that at some point this year, Mr. Johnson hit a deer while driving and took care of it, nursing it back to health in his garage. And now, just in time for the last home game in the season, it appears that he has a Christmas present for the fans in the stands – he says that he’s planning on bringing out a live, wild animal for a touchdown celebration. And even he knows that he’s going to get in trouble for this, too – “They might suspend me for the last game, but I think this one is worth it." – and he doesn’t care.

This is crossing some weird line that nobody would have thought of two, three years ago – bringing a wild animal (that has been living in a garage by itself, no less) into a stadium full of screaming people – while I doubt that it’ll be an actual deer (I’m guessing he’ll get a cheerleader to wear reindeer antlers or something) the idea is more then enough – I like this kid more and more each time I hear about him.

And hell, I haven’t seen an animal in the end zone since the days of John Matuszak…

(Wait, there I go – crossing my own line into slander and lies by calling a dead man an animal… Let’s just ignore that, dear reader, since he wasn’t an animal and he sure wasn’t dangerous – unless you played for the Cowboys… No, lets leave this mess of an article behind and get to the meat of this – the predictions for week 16)

***

New York Giants at Washington Redskins (Washington -3)

Not even Clinton Portis will be able to keep the Redskins in this game, as the killer offence of the Giants (Plaxico Burress, Tiki Barber, Eli Manning) keeps the Giants ahead of a surprisingly tight Redskins offence – after all, since Brunell hasn’t been passing to Moss lately, if the Giants can shut down the running game Brunell will be short on options. The Giants will play spoiler as Washington finally bows out of the Wild Card hunt.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans (Jacksonville –6)

Who cares? Jacksonville couldn’t even muster two touchdowns against the 2-win 49ers last week while the worst team in the league (their 2-12 opponents) scored three times as many. But Houston wants to lose this game so they can stay in the hunt for the #1 pick and draft Reggie Bush while Jacksonville almost seems to win in spite of its offence. Of course Jacksonville will win this one – but it won’t be the blowout that it could be and Jacksonville will be hard pressed to cover the spread.

Atlanta Falcons at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Tampa Bay –3)

Two warm weather teams that both lost last week in the cold – and are fighting for the same Wild Card spot. And despite their superior record, Tampa Bay’s defence has been looking very bad lately – especially in the 28-0 loss to New England last week – while the Falcons were able to score on a tough Chicago defence. And despite Michael Vick’s rib injury, I think that the Falcons will be able to pull this on out, although not to the same extent that they did last year in the playoffs.

Indianapolis Colts at Seattle Seahawks (Seattle –7.5)

With both of these teams having powerhouse seasons, this could be the Super Bowl match up this year – if the Seahawks can actually win when it counts in the postseason. As such, this should be a good idea of what to expect from both teams in the postseason – except that both teams will be playing their starters in Detroit. Seattle will not pull out a win here and their “great” defence will be put to the test to even keep them close.

San Diego Chargers at Kansas City Chiefs (Kansas City –1.5)

After their upset win at the RCA Dome, the Chargers are hoping to keep on a winning path to the post season but are playing against one of (# 9 overall) the better run defences in the league – which can spell disaster for a team that relies heavily on LaDainian Tomlinson. Kansas City, however, has been hurting since the loss of Priest Holmes and is all but out of the playoff hunt and will try to play spoiler to a hot San Diego team… but it won’t be enough; the Chargers will cover the spread.

Buffalo Bills at Cincinnati Bengals (Cincinnati –14)

Buffalo is having the worst year in the NFL… never mind that there are teams with worse records or stats (After all, who expected San Francisco, Houston or the New York Jets to post good seasons?) it’s a matter that if they had a good QB this year, they’d be right in the playoff hunt. With Kelly Holcumb and JP Losman, though, they’re a .500 team at best that’s playing a definite Super Bowl contender on the road on Christmas Eve. But a 14-point spread is more too much for even the Bengals to cover, especially when they don’t need it – It’ll be closer to 10, if not under, since the Bengals don’t even need to win this game – but will anyway.

San Francisco 49ers at St. Louis Rams (St. Louis –9)

In a game that matters only for a position in the draft, St. Louis will win – maybe. Fitzgerald, for all his comebacks, is unreliable at best and the 49ers nearly pulled out a win against a much better Jacksonville last week. Still, with losses both this week and next (and Houston winning one of their next two) the 49ers will have a great shot at drafting Reggie Bush. Look for the Rams to cover the spread.

Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers (Chicago -6.5)

The Packers of today are like the Patriots of yesterday – almost unable to win when it counts and will be in the cellar for the foreseeable future. Chicago’s defence will shut down Brett Farve’s passing game and with Samkon Gado out for the season their running game is lousy at best; the Bears will make this look easy.

Minnesota Vikings at Baltimore Ravens (Baltimore –2.5)

After embarrassing the Packers last week, the Ravens are on a hot streak that should carry over to this late Sunday game – look for the Vikings to continue to fall apart as their season comes to a close as Baltimore covers spread.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Week 15 quick wrapup:

On my first real attempt at predicting NFL scores I went 5 for 7...

My mistakes? Drew Bledsoe, as if on cue, fell apart when it mattered most and the Colts lost a game they could have won against a rebounding San Diego. All things considered, not too bad. Look for Week 16 to come on or around Thursday.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

NFL Week 15 Preview

This is a big, if somewhat boring, week of matchups for the NFL - for every Chicago/Atlanta game, we have a Green Bay/Baltimore and a Miami/New York Jets matchup. Still, here's the first batch of predictions for the NFL:

Pittsburgh over Minnesota (+3)
- Big Ben Roethlisberger’s thumb refused to slow him down last week against the #1 rated defence in the NFL as the Steelers easily won over the Bears 21-9. Look this week for an even better game: The Vikings have been playing much better then they should have in recent weeks and against a strong defence we’ll suddenly remember why Brad Johnson was the backup – plus, this is a do-or-die situation for a Steelers team that has just started to play like they were last year.

New England over Tampa Bay (+4.5)

- Never mind that the Patriots are the new Packers – they’re 4-2 this year at home and were 8-0 at home last year – but Tampa Bay’s passing has been badly as of late, and they’ll tend to use Cadillac Williams more then they should on Saturday against a decent running defence (11th overall). Look for New England to more then cover the spread as they wrap up the AFC East for themselves.

Dallas over Washington (+2)

- This is kind of painful for me, a minor Redskins fan, to admit, but Washington’s year is done. With both LaVar Herrington and Mark Brunell playing hurt, Dallas will push hard to try and avenge their loss in week three. Look for Dallas to double team Santana Moss, making the Redskins rely on Clinton Portis to get the job done.

Seattle over Tennessee (-7)

- The Seahawks are one of the better (not the best, though) teams in the NFC as of late, but will have a close game against an underrated Tennessee team. While the Seahawks are playing in a fairly weak division (The Rams, the Cardinals and the 49ers aren’t exactly quality opponents), the Titans have been playing solid football against the likes of the Colts and the Jaguars. Look for Steve McNair to show us flashes of his old self against an over-rated Seattle defence. Yes, the Seahawks will win, but it won’t be by much more then a field goal.

Denver over Buffalo (+10)

- With Denver playing powerhouse football (albeit with a 3-RB system that’s killed my fantasy team) and Buffalo playing like chumps, this game will be a blowout that gives Denver the push they’ll need to wrap up the NFC West.

Indianapolis over San Diego (-7.5)

- This game should be all but a given for the Colts. But the Chargers need a win, badly, and the Colts could care less at this point – they’re going to start resting players soon, so they don’t get injured for the playoffs, and Tony Dungy has already said that he doesn’t really care about a 15-0 record. But, with a strong defence that’ll eat up LaDainian Tomlinson alive and both a killer running game and a powerful passing game, Indy will make this look easy, joining the 1972 Dolphins in the 14-0 club.

Chicago over Atlanta (+3)

- Coming off a tough loss to the Steelers, the Bears will rebound with a vengeance on Sunday night. With one of, if not the, best defences in the league, the Bears will be able to contain both Michael Vick and Warrick Dunn, making Vick rely on a less-then-perfect passing game. And with Kyle Orton running the Bears offence, look for this to be a low-scoring, defencive game.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Shaq on the beach

It was mid-morning when I got up and poured myself a tall glass of orange juice - the start to what I assumed would be a typical day in my household. With a "Sports Illustrated" on the table and SportsCentre on the TV I sat down to what I assumed would be an hour of fairly standard sports highlights.

But then it flashed on the screen: Shaquille O'Neal was now an officer of the law in Miami beach. Surely I thought that some fool had slipped LSD-25 into my drink - an NBA player also a cop? It sounded like the plot of some movie starring Eddie Griffin... But it had this ring of believability to it. Shaq, after all, is almost like a G-rated version of the modern basketball player. He's the latest in a long line of players that even your grandmother could love: People like Charles Barkley or Magic Johnson. If somebody like, for example, Ron Artest had suddenly decided to become a cop then we'd have reason to wonder - but Shaq is a natural fit.

Maybe it's the way that he can disarm anybody with his personality, maybe it's the way that he always seems to be smiling when the other players try to look menacing. I'm not sure, and I doubt that I ever will be. But, out of the current list of NBA superstars, he stands out as the one that could pull this off without looking foolish. Granted, his role is more of a spokesperson then anything else, but such a role is natural for him: as a internationally known superstar, he's already in such a role for the NBA - not to mention his commercials for those 'Crunch Bars' from a while back. Even if he doesn't do anything other then star in the occassional commercial - although, according to the Miami Beach Police Department, "He's here to conduct investigations and make arrests" - it's a dollar a year that could have been worse spent.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

The Rise and Fall of the Eagles

January 23rd, 2005:

Today, at Philadelphia’s Lincoln field, the hometown Eagles beat the Atlanta Falcons for the NFC Championship. The weather, a major factor in the game, was snowy, windy and cold for the duration of the game – as was the Atlanta offence. Michael Vick, who previously led the Falcons to a 47 to 10 win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, was held to only 162 yards and was sacked on four different occasions. Donovan McNabb, on the other hand, passed for two touchdowns to Chad Lewis – who, while catching the second touchdown, injured his foot and was forced to leave the game.

The Eagles will play the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XXXIX.


This, as it would turn out, was the peak of 2005 for the Eagles, who now have a 5-7 record after their ghastly loss on Monday night. This has been a tough year for the NFC Champions, who went 13-3 during the regular season and winning by at least 13 points in each playoff game – without Terrell Owens, their of their key players. When February 6th came around, it looked as if the Eagles would have a great shot at winning the Super Bowl, even if they faced the New England Patriots.

It was a long road to get that far, though, for the Eagles. They had to suffer through losing season after losing season in the late 1990s before they hired head coach Andy Reid and drafted quarterback Donovan McNabb. This led to a fantastic 2000 season, where they made their first playoff appearance since 1996 and finished second in the NFC East. After demolishing Tampa Bay in the first round, they lost to the New York Giants in the next round.

2001 wasn’t much more successful for the Eagles: after finishing first in the NFC East and posting an 11-5 record, they made their way to the NFC Championship by destroying Tampa Bay (31 – 9) and the Chicago Bears (33 –19), but lost to the eventual champions, the St. Louis Rams by less then a touchdown. Clearly, something was missing from the Eagles lineup. They had proved that they could score, but their defence proved to be lacking in key games.

By the next year’s playoffs, though, their defence had picked up considerably. Playing against the Atlanta Falcons, they had three sacks on Michael Vick and were able to hold one of the NFL’s powerhouse offences to only two field goals. Again, however, they lost in the NFC finals, to a much-improved (and eventual Super Bowl winning) Tampa Bay.

In 2003, the story was the same – yet again. After their infamous ‘4th and 26’ play (a 28 yard reception on a fourth down play that led to the game-tying field goal) and barely winning over Green Bay in overtime, they once again lost in the NFC championship; this time to Carolina. This was the third year in a row that they had lost in that game and the second year in a row that they had gone into the playoffs as a #1 seed.

It was on that fateful game in January 2005 that they were finally able to win the Championship, finally making it to the Super Bowl. They had all the keys to winning the game: While the Patriots had a secondary was injury-prone, the Eagles had one the top passing games in the NFL, thanks to the combo of Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens – who was set to make his comeback after missing the playoffs with a broken ankle. It was Donovan, however, that was one of the factors in the loss that year. Despite passing for three touchdowns, he was sacked four times and intercepted three times – the final one coming on the Eagles last drive at the end of the game.

Going by their past merits, the 2005 season looked to be good for the Eagles: They had been on top of the NFC for a number of years now, they had a massive passing game and a defence to match. But, like many of the other teams that lost in the Super Bowl in recent years, they fell apart in the regular season. From the off-field antics of Terrell Owens (which started even before the season did) to McNabb’s decision to play despite his sports hernia, the Eagles offence was not as powerful as it had been the year before; and their defence was much of the same. It was on another Monday night game, this time at home against the Dallas Cowboys.

The game started off well for the Eagles: at halftime they were ahead by a touchdown; at the end of the third quarter, the lead had jumped to 10 points – all without Terrell Owens, who had just been suspended for ‘conduct detrimental to the team’. But in the fourth quarter, Dallas came back and won the game while McNabb took a huge sack and aggravated his hernia, causing him to leave the game – and ended his season.

Since that night, the new starting quarterback, Mike McMahon, has been less then successful, winning only one game out of the three that he has so far started.

So it was on another Monday night, this time in early December, that the Eagles hit their lowest point in years: a 42 to nothing loss against the Seattle Seahawks at home, in the midst of a snowstorm, no less. This season has been a disaster for the once-mighty Eagles: and it’s not the fault of any one person. From the actions of Terrell Owens (his preseason shenanigans, his treatment of Donovan McNabb in the press, his fights with the team in the locker room), the coaching of Andy Reid (who has been almost unable to establish a running game in his tenure as coach or his knee-jerk reaction to Owens’s outbursts) to the intangible factors that worked against the Eagles this season (Donovan McNabb’s injuries, the collapse of their defence), this is a year to forget in Philly, as one of their only sports success stories in recent years falls apart.

So, what’s next for Philly? They undoubtedly want to rid themselves of Owens (and already there are rumors of either the Denver Broncos or the Dallas Cowboys acquiring him as soon as the season ends) and Andy Reid’s job is on the line. Donovan McNabb is set to resume his career as soon as the next season starts, but will he still be as effective as he used to be? We’ve all seen what happened to Steve ‘Air’ McNair after his injury-plagued seasons in 2003 and 2004. The easy answer, at least at this time, is that the Eagles will have to retool their offence: their pass-heavy scheme has barely, if at all, worked for them in the playoffs and with the loss of Terrell Owens, as well as the potential loss of Donovan McNabb’s passing skills, will only hurt them if they continue down that path.

Monday, November 28, 2005

From the Ivy to the Desert: It's the same old story

It’s something like 5000 miles from Harvard University’s football stadium to Reliant Stadium, where the Texans of Houston play, but it didn’t seem like much of a difference to Ryan Fitzpatrick on Sunday when he, for the second time in his life, made an almost impossible comeback to win.

Some will call it the comeback of the week, of the season even… Others will say that it’s dumb luck over a bad team (The Rams were almost 4 point favorites over a team that’s only 1-10) but others will say that this is the start of something great.

Mr. Ryan Fitzpatrick is well known to those who watch Harvard’s college games for his massive comeback over Dartmouth something like five years ago, when he lead the Crimson Tide from a 21 point deficit. Today, he wasn’t just the first Harvard grad to play QB in the NFL ever, he lead the Rams to a 21-point comeback (10 points in the final few minutes of the game to force OT, plus an OT drive to the end zone that would make John Elway nervous) in his first NFL game ever. Ever.

This isn’t dumb luck. If this was the first time that it had ever happened, then maybe it could have been. But, as you learn in Law Class, once is an accident, twice is a fluke and three times is a pattern. This was the second time that he led a team from certain defeat to an implausible victory. And I don’t think we’ll be waiting too long for the third time that Mr. Fitzpatrick pulls the Rams out of the fire.

Besides, did you see that pass on a 4th down late in the game? Texans or not, this was a dominating lead. Maybe the Texans got lazy, maybe the Rams got lucky or maybe, just maybe both. I don’t think it matters – when a QB can pull off a comeback like that, he’s something worth noting.

This, reader, was the comeback of the year… mark my words: This kid has got many miles left in him.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

A final memo from the Ugly Seats: “It was a drag..."

“This monkey’s gone to heaven…This monkey’s gone to heaven”

Ye gods, what a way to be spending a grey, dark and cloudy November day. The wind is strong and cold this morning, and the vibes are weird and ugly… Sitting here in my parent’s kitchen, drinking black coffee and listening to The Pixies, just trying to think and get a grip…

I’m going to Toronto today for the CFL Eastern Finals (Brought to you by Scotiabank) and hoping to forget all the madness going on down there. Never mind that repulsive story about the witness getting killed at his friends funeral, never mind David Miller and his gang of cohorts, never mind any of that madness. Today I am a Spectator, an ugly fool with a wallet full of money, a head full of bad craziness and no real morals at all – perfect for the attendance of Richard Nixon’s favorite pastime, Pro Football.

“This ain’t no holiday, no, no / But it always turns out this way...”

Sitting next to me is an ugly reminder of just where we are in this year of 2005 – Hunter S Thompson no longer lives in that fortified house, he’s dead. And George W Bush, love him or hate him, is just months away from being a Lame Duck President, with many of his key aids and advisors under investigation… And the “Right Honorable” Paul Martin? He, and his party, are sitting alone as the Gomery Commission paints him as the new Nixon of Canadian politics, as it were. But hey, when you deal with Quebec it gets really heavy, really fast. This provides a segue, of a sort, to the main topic at hand…

Today, at 3pm, the Toronto Argonauts will face off against the Montreal Alouettes for the Eastern Championship and the passage to the Grey Cup. In another year, this could have been taken as a metaphor, perhaps, but this year it is just a grudge match. This is the fourth year that these teams have faced each other in these finals, and they’ve developed a sense of hatred that few teams can match, a heavy, ugly sense of hate… And why not? This is, after all, football. If it wasn’t hateful, angry and violent then perhaps something went wrong… Besides, this if the Playoffs, to boot. Its winner takes all, here, with the loser going home with the stench of defeat hanging around their necks like an albatross. This is it; there’s no second chances now, no do-overs, no mulligan shots. This is it for one team, the end of the road.


Gang warfare is on the tips of everybody’s tongue in Toronto these days, with a witness to the murder of his best friend killed at that very friends funeral. The city is apparently, according to major media outlets, full of anger and rage over the senseless violence – football should be the last thing on any reasonable person’s mind. Indeed, as I neared the city traffic looked as if it was all coming back to the city after a long weekend away from the bloodshed, but they all appeared to be heading not to the Rogers Centre, but away from the downtown, off to the suburbs. Well…Toronto is a hockey town, make no mistake about it. Just ask any fan of the Toronto Raptors or of the Toronto Blue Jays.

But the Argonauts of Toronto are almost a different beast altogether. They have been around for decades now, winning the Grey Cup 15 times, ranking them with such luminaries as the New York Yankees, the Montreal Canadiens and the Boston Celtics. And today, at 3pm, they go into battle with the same team that they did last year at this time, and the year before that and the year before that. And Toronto loves them for it – just like they loved the Blue Jays in the early 1990s. It’s a brief, albeit strong, love from fair-weather fans...


This ‘Pro-line’ Betting guide sitting on my lap is all but impenetrable. There is no spread, no favorite mentioned, only a jumble of letters and numbers, all meaning nothing to me. Or to my father, for that matter: He’s spent the last few minutes calling it a game meant to “Separate the fools from their money”. I try to butt in, but to no avail. “Trust me, M, I know these things”.

The sky is a hazy blue hue as we get stuck in traffic near a Porto Rican church off to my left on the 401. The traffic is think and unmoving and the radio explodes with news about shootings and parades and over 41,100 tickets sold to the Argos game. And the Raptors, winless in their first nine, get barely a mention.

“Kill your mortgage” – Sign seen on light post in downtown Toronto

The rats of the sky are out in full force down by the core of the city, flying haphazard through the streets like a crazed kamikaze pilot, darting from shadow to shadow. But in this town, the word shadow means very little: Even though it’s all sun out, the streets are dark, with all the light blocked out by the buildings. The only way to see if it’s daylight outside is stand and look up, like a fool, 90 degrees – leaving you open to have yr wallet and keys and personal identification stolen like a fool.

***

No parking, no space, no room to breathe – the streets are immobile, like a no-fee parking lot where everybody has their cars running. They’re lined up as far as the eye can see, way down to the end of this street, right up to where an ambulance is parked and flashing like a children’s toy. The sidewalks are a sea of faces that you have to flow with by yr own will, or you’ll get dragged back by them… There’s a man on the corner, dressed in a large foam rubber suit covered with anti-police and pro-drug expressions of thought, handing out a badly Xeroxed newsletter… a sleeping bearded man, lying on his side with an upside-down hat full of loose assorted change… a flock of Asian women, dressed smartly in business suits, conversing sharply in some foreign tongue… This is the Pulse of this City; it’s people flowing like blood amongst the still-unmoving cars.

***

The Rogers Centre – Formerly the Skydome – sits at the base of the CN Tower and not too far from the Air Canada Centre. It’s a building that in it’s short existence (Since 1989) has housed 3 major sports teams: The Toronto Blue Jays (1989 – Current), the Toronto Argonauts (1989- current, with a 2007 move pending) and the Toronto Raptors (1995 – 1999) but make no mistake – it’s a baseball building first and foremost. Even during a football game, from the 500 level – as high as it goes – one can still make out a ghostly outline of the baseball diamond. The pennants that hang all year correspond to the Jays, from their 1985 AL East championship to their 1993 World Series win… the ‘honor deck’ has names of such famed players as George Bell, Joe Carter and the like, while the Argonauts honor roll only cover seats temporarily…

It’s up by these covered seats, in the 500 Deck, where the people sit at the same level as the lighting rigs; where they sit unsupervised, drinking heavily, acting weirdly and yelling randomly… This is where the College frat boys sit, where the irate fans sit, where you can see the game without being seen yourself… This is the Ugly Seats.

By the end of the Third Quarter the outcome of the game was sadly apparent – Montreal possessed the lead as Toronto fumbled or was intercepted seemingly every time they had the ball. Just down a few rows from me sat two lonely Montreal fans, cheering and screaming wildly whenever their team did something, from scoring to making a tackle to calling a timeout. The other people in my section would scream and throw food at them, but their spirits never dampened, they were the winners here and they knew it…

“Did…Did you not see the game? (Maniacal Laughter)” – Montreal fan, replying to slanderous insults

***

By the end of the game, the Ugly Seats were a horrible mess of drunken fans, bad vibes and some solitary man taping the game on his portable Sony Handi-Cam for reasons known only to him. Children next to me were weeping openly, tossing their inflatable ‘noise sticks’ down into the fast-empting seats in the level below… the only moment of joy, for these people, was when some punk kid threw down a large plastic horn, injuring a fan in the 100 level critically as the security looked panicked, but was unable to find out who threw the offending horn. In a complete contrast, however, the two Montreal fans were almost insane with joy, laughing and cheering and engaging in drink as their team marched off the field victorious… This is it, I remember thinking, a chance to see this violence that Toronto has become famous for in recent years…

The game ended not with a bang, but with a kneel of the Quarterback, as Montreal ran out the clock – a 17 point lead all but assured victory for them at any point in the 4th quarter. And despite, or perhaps because of, the loss there was no violence in the stadium, none of this rage and anger that I had heard so much about, only a bitter sense of sorrow. The fans were bummed out, too lost in a depressed stupor to do much else then wander back to their cars slowly. As we got outside, there was not a person who was remotely happy; everyone was shuffling as fast as they could to their cars in silence. Where at halftime there was a roar of Argo fans, all of them chanting in unison, there was now a stone-like stillness.

But where was this violence I has so much about? Did it even exist? Every day, it now seems, I hear about Toronto being a hotbed of gang warfare, with violent murders every day of the year. Yet, on this night of disappointment, there was no sense of anger, let alone any violence, only a vague sense of bitterness and resentment.

“It was a drag…” – Caller on Mojo 640AM

It was a scant few blocks away, on this same day, that the Toronto Raptors faced the Miami Heat – a team that was only an established winner, but ranked among the top teams in the NBA. And when the formerly winless Raptors managed to win, it went almost unnoticed among the population. It was barely mentioned on the radio, and was not mentioned in the Rogers Centre at all. In a town that managed to sell out every hockey game from the 1950’s until 1998, it is almost unsurprising that basketball, a game that is slowly losing popularity in Toronto, is all but unnoticed by the masses.

It hasn’t been all that long since the Raptors first played in the NBA along with that other Canadian team, the Vancouver Grizzlies… however, Vancouver proved to be a horrible town for basketball, with one player allegedly crying when they drafted him… But that is not a story for now, however. This is a story about Toronto and a team that may not be here in 10 years – and that we may not even notice their absence.

Toronto is a large place, cold most of the year… there are four major sports franchises here, and almost the same number of professional hockey teams (The Maple Leafs of the NHL, the Marlies of the AHL, the Majors of the OHL), so it’s not exactly outside the whelm of possibility that both Basketball and Football can go unnoticed in what is, and what has always been, a hockey town. True, the Argos brought in over 41,000 people today – but once it looked grim, they vanished into the ether, fast as their legs would take them…

(Two quotes at the top taken from songs by The Pixies, for those who care about that kind of thing.)

Friday, November 25, 2005

Those Fools were unprepared

Editor’s Note: Due to a recent major events in the author’s life, his original column – a commentary on Toronto, the state of the Argonauts and the NBA in Canada – has been delayed until possibly next week. In it’s place, we were able to procure the following from M while he was in the midst of a betting frenzy after Mike Anderson was pulled from the Dallas / Denver games… what follows is a verbatim transcript, pulled directly from M himself:

Jesus Murphy, what happened? Yesterday it was so clear out, not a cloud in the sky… today we have over a foot of snow being dumped on this irrational town as the people scamper about like crazed chickens. At the local supermarket yesterday, I overheard a produce clerk talking about his hometown: “Yeah, we got two feet of snow… And now they want to open the skiing hills, too! In this weather! Can you imagine those fools thinking that they can pull this off?”… Well, I suppose that he was the fool there – The Snow is packing it deep now, and the ground is surely frozen.

I was watching the game today and talking to my friend Larry when the snow began to fall down, blanketing the ground and the houses with a thick powder that was wet and almost impossible to remove… he began to curse as his high-powered satellite dish lost it’s connection and severed him from the game, his feed falling apart like Warren Dunn exploding through the Lions defensive line… I laughed at him; he was an unprepared fool that had no real bearing on how to handle serious football viewing. He was unprepared for such an event, just like how the Lions were unprepared for Dunn, Vick and the Falcons defensive unit…

Did you see the way that Warren Dunn was able to wiggle and stretch his way through the Lions secondary? Or the way that Michael Vick was able to single-handedly out pass three Lions quarterbacks in only 3 quarters? The Falcons did something today that I thought was impossible – embarrass somebody from Detroit. The fourth quarter hadn’t even started and the fans were leaving in droves, making the Stadium seem dead and empty… The Lions have no excuse for folding up like that, none at all. This was Vick at his prime, the way that he managed to excite us in what now seems like so long ago, when nobody cared what his numbers were like, only that he may run or pass or scramble madly and do both.

This, of course, made no difference to me – my thanksgiving was many moons ago.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

T.O. was Right-O

Well, it appears that Donovan McNabb will indeed be getting the surgery that he needed sometime during this season, instead of waiting until the end of the year. And you know what this means: It looks like TO was right; at least on some level.

I see T.O. as two different people. One is a fantastically talented and smart Wide receiver who ranks among the best ever to play the game. The other is a selfish loudmouth who can single-handedly take a team down without much of an effort. We all remember how he danced on the Star in Dallas, how he made what will be remembered as "Son of The Catch" in the playoffs a few years ago. We all remember his Joe Namathish remarks about playing in the Super Bowl with a broken leg - which he did do. He all remember the loudmouthed antics of TO, how he acts like Jim McMahon and makes an ass out of himself. But we all like to forget his talent, the reason the Eagles wanted him in the first place.

Love him or hate him, he is one of the best Wide receivers in the NFL. This year he scored his 100th touchdown, in less then nine full seasons. He played through an injury that would have season-ending in the Superbowl - making 9 catches for 122 yards. He averaged a touchdown per game for five years in a row. He is tied with Jerry Rice with more then 5 seasons of 13 touchdowns or more. He has made plays that for any other player would be unforgettable, but for him are utterly forgotten.

Remember when he tore down those signs in Cleveland? And we all faulted him for what was essentially standing up for his team? He had the right attitude, but we all hated him for it. And then when he doubted McNabb we all called him "detrimental to the team"?

Well guess what: He was right again. And you, the typical sports fan, cannot stand it. You hate him for being right. You hate it that we all knew he was right all along and that we still disagreed because we all hate him so damn much. But he's the one laughing now: He's getting paid to sit around, he'll have every team wanting him for next year and we'll be the one apologizing because we all doubted him.

If TO was anybody, anyone at all, other then T.O. we'd agree with him. Applaud him, even. But he isn't someone else. He's T.O. and we hate it that a loudmouthed, selfish player is the one who was right all along.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

"I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside"
('Baby it's cold outside' - F. Loesser)


Toronto, being a northern North American city, is known for having cold winters - not as cold as other cities, such as Winnipeg, Chicago or New York, but cold none the less.

And with the opening few games of the NBA season, it would appear that the winter chill came early to Toronto this year, with the Raptors now tied for last place in their division, and only one loss behind the worst team in the NBA,the Atlanta Hawks. Right now, their only hope of doing much of anything is a weak eastern division - end even then, it's still a race for last place.

The main problem is that Toronto is too new: there are few, many too few, solid veteran players to anchor the youthful players. Toronto has talent - Jalen Rose, Chris Bosh, Charlie Villanueva, for example - but it needs a solid, experienced player (preferably at centre) to lead the way for the team.

Look at the Maple Leafs, Toronto's other major winter team. After their captain Mats Sundin went down with an eye injury in the first period of the first game, the Leafs dropped three games in a row before Eric Lindros, finally looking like himself again, led the Leafs to a series of wins.

This is what the Raptors need: after last season's fiasco with Vince Carter, they need a solid leader to lead them in what will be a strong division... if they don't get one before the season gets rolling, they'll be stuck in limbo towards the bottom of the league.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Sweeping up the dust

Maybe it's just me, but it seems that this season is not one that has been kind to Palmeiros.

With Orlando Palmeiro's groundout (a very close groundout, I should add) up the middle, the Chicago White Sox won the 2005 World Series. But never mind that they haven't won since 1917 - a year before the Red Sox's drought started in 1918. Never mind that each game was pretty close. Never mind the squabbling over the roof being closed. None of that matters. This was a series that the Sox not only dominated, but one that was never in doubt. Tonight the Sox had 8 hits to Houstons 5. They pulled a double play, unlike the Astros. They left seven runners on base, whereas Houston left nine (five of those in scoring position with two out).

Tonight in almost every category, and in each one that counts, the Sox either led, or came very close to leading, the Astros. And it wasn't just tonight, either. In all four games, the Sox (for example) outhit the Astros 44 to 29 while leaving 36 baserunners on (Houston left 34). It's key factors like this that show that the Sox were, for the vast majority of the series, in complete control.

Take game three, for example. In the bottom of the 9th inning the Astros loaded the bases (Burke, the hero from the 18 inning marathon was at third) with only one out - but were unable to score. By the 12th inning, the Astros had left 12 runners on since the bottom of the 9th - with the winning run in scoring position in every inning. Numbers like that are unacceptable to any team, let alone one fighting for it's life in the World Series.

The fans knew this - the Astros barely made it into the playoffs and barely won their first series against the Braves in an 18 inning marathon - as detailed in a previous Blog entry. While they did routinely beat the Cardinals, a Tony LaRussa team, they showed themselves to be the Wild Card team they were.

Yes, the Astros kept it close, barely losing in each game. But, to paraphrase Vince Lombardi, you show me someone who almost won and I'll show you someone who lost.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

The World Series and a Final Farewell

Well, with the loss last night of the NL-Leading St. Louis Cardinals we saw the end of two major things: The Astro's luckless Postseason streak, rivalled only by that of Tony La Russa, and the old, if somewhat forgettable, Busch Stadium.

It was a landmark among ballparks, really, with it's long-outdated look bringing back memories of Barry Goldwater, freezing games in the NFL playoffs and the Johnson administration. Yes, it was truly a sight for the ages. And that is where it's headed, off to the history books and a page on Wikipedia under the "Default Sports Facilities" heading.

I had never been there, personally. I had rarely seen it on television (We don't get too many NL games in Jays Country). And it didn't even mean anything special to me. Why, I'm not even too sure why I'm writing about it, in all honesty. Whatever.

The point that I never even addressed is that finally, after years of being so goddamn close (1986, 2004 come to mind) the Astros have finally done it, finally made it to the Final Series, as it were. Finally getting a chance to not only beat the best team in a league, but to actually become it. And, as usual, they couldn't have had worse luck.

They are facing the Chicago White Sox, the best team in the AL, a team that has outstanding hitting and pitching, a team that has something to prove, even if it's only to those damn Cubs fans (George F Will, et al). They don't just want this win, they need it - to finally put that damn Black Sox scandal (the one that everybody remembers only because of a semi-decent movie) behind them for good. The Cubs have the "Billygoat Curse", the Red Sox the "Curse of the Bambino" and Billy Buckner. The White Sox have a gambling scandal that would curl Pete Roses hair - and a chance to beat those Texans and put Shoeless Joe to rest, for once and for all.


***

Remember how I said that Joe Sakic was the Last Nordique? Well, he ain't for much longer: the Aves will let him become a free agent at the end of the season.

Monday, October 10, 2005

The Houston Marathon / By the Rocket's Red Glare

Yesterday, we all (at least those of us not watching NFL, Nascar, NHL or the Cooking Channel) saw one of the longest, most exciting and most dramatic baseball game in recent memory.. we all saw one man, who has a knack for saving the day, hold an entire team at bay when it was needed the most, while another fell apart at the seams. But this story starts almost two decades ago, in 1986...

It was in the same town, although in a different venue, in the National League Championship Series, that we saw (as broadcasted by ABC, if my memory serves correctly) New York Mets and the Houston Astros play a 16 inning marathon in the old Astrodome for entry to the World Series - and when the Mets finally won, it was the longest game ever played in postseason baseball.

And it was less then two weeks later, in Boston's Fenway Park, that Roger Clemens led the Red Sox to what should have been a series-winning victory - until the Red Sox bullpen let the Mets tie in the 9th. Then, only one inning later Mookie Wilson's ground ball dribbled between the legs of Bill Buckner (who, if the Red Sox had won, would have been a major candidate for playoff MVP) in one of the most infamous baseball errors of all time.

In the nineteen years since that game-ending error, the Astros have never again been as close to the World Series, Bill Buckner moved to Idaho, the Astrodome was left empty and Roger Clemens won two World Series, eventually winding up with the Astros.

We now go to the 1992 World Series - where the Toronto Blue Jays defeat the Atlanta Braves. Or the 1991 World Series, a victory for the Minnesota Twins over the Braves. Or the 1996 or 1999 World Series. Or any MLB Postseason from 1991 to the present. Every year, save 1995, they lost. And they needed a victory this year, save they lose to the NL Wild Card.

So, we finally arrive at Minute Maid Park in Houston - The Astros lead the series 2-1 but the Braves lead 6-5 in the top of the ninth inning. However, an Astros home run sends the game to extra frames. And the game remains tied. Running out of relief pitchers, the Astros are forced to call in one of their starting pitchers - Roger Clemens. But still, nobody scores.

NFL games that started at the same general time as the game have all ended; games that started at at 4 are getting close to halftime. Still, nobody scores. Atlanta changes pitchers. Not a single runner scores. The clock ticks ever closer to six PM EST.

By now, all of the football games that are still playing are in their fourth quarter. All the existing time records for a Major League Division Series have been broken - and it's getting close to the all-time Baseball Postseason record - that fateful night in Houston almost 20 years before. Still, not a run scores. Indeed, it could be argued that only one man is still keeping the Astros in the game: Roger Clemens, pitching his heart out and keeping the bats of the Braves at bay.

It was close to seven, almost six hours since the game started, when the Astros hit a walk-off home run in the bottom of the 18th. Who hit it is almost irrelevant, like who finished first in the last leg of the Tour de France or the winner of the Bronze Medal game of the World Cup; it was only needed because of the masterful pitching of the Rocket, who came out the bullpen and delivered when it was needed the most and who, in the process, looked like that other famous Texan who pitched for the Astros; like Nolan Ryan in the fading light of the Texas sun.

Monday, October 03, 2005

The Last Nordique

The rain was pouring down this morning, waking me up at some ungodly morning hour and making my window take the appearance of frosted glass. And as I awoke, cursing the foul elements that had awaken me, I listened to the ESPN Radio previews of the new NHL season - in particular the preview for the Avalanche. And it reminded me about one of the last of the greats; the last Nordique.

Since 1996, when the Quebec Nordiques moved to Denver to begin anew, many of the players have moved on; wither because they retired, were traded away or just signed to another team the former Nordiques moved on (Adam Deadmarsh, Peter Forsberg, , slowly but surely. And while many of the players from the second glory days of the Nordiques (the first being the mid 1980's) are still playing, none are playing for the Nordiques/Avalanche - except one: Joe Sakic.

In an age where players can change teams almost on a whim, Joe Sakic is a rarity. He has played his entire career (16 seasons) for the same team. With the rise of free agency and salary caps, it's almost unheard of to play for the same team for more then 10 years; even Ray Bourque eventually left the Bruins. For a player to stay with a team for as long as Sakic has, and most likely will, is a product of special circumstances. Mario Lemieux is part of the management for the Penguins, for example. Joe Sakic, on the other hand, has no such business; instead, he's the spiritual backbone of a team that not only is a proven winner, but a consistent threat.

The Avalanche are one of the last great dynasties in pro sports (their only rival would be the New England Patriots or the Atlanta Braves). Every year they make it to the playoffs and every year they they put the best teams (Detroit, Dallas, Anaheim, Calgary) in the league to the test.

So, will Joe Sakic remain the Last Nordique? Only he knows for sure... but he is not only the best man for the job, he's the only one who can do it. And who knows, he may even end up coaching them in a few years.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Palmeiro's dance



Well, The Dance of Mr. Palmeiro has taken a new step - now, not only did he not intentionally take steroids, but it was only Vitamin B12 (that's right, the very same vitamin that you find in fish, chicken and the like). And he named his supplier, to boot: Miguel Tejada. Miguel, of course, denies these almost-slanderous claims. To wit: "Right now I'm in shock...It doesn't bother me because I'm not guilty. I've done nothing wrong. I just gave him B-12, and B-12 is legal...".

So, then, just how did Palmeiro get those "horrible" steroids, the same kind of horse tranquilizer that Ben Johnson tested positive for in the 1988 Olympics, into his system? Was it on the tail end of an alcohol and amphetamine binge in the middle of the season, after the Orioles pulled close to the Red Sox for the lead in the AL East? They were almost on top of the league then, with Mr. Palmeiro closing in on hit number 3000 and almost assured the spot of either the AL East or, failing that, the AL Wild Card. But then, after their star player tested positive for a drug used to tame wild horses, it all went downhill - they're even below the lowly Toronto Blue Jays now, 12 games below .500, 20 games out of the AL East title, 20 and a half out of the Wild Card. It's been a huge collapse, even worse then the Kansas City Royals, worse then the Toronto Blue Jays, worse then the Washington Nationals. And now Mr. Palmeiro has danced his last dance in Baltimore.

After hearing reports that Mr. Palmeiro had fingered a member of the Orioles,

"interim manager Sam Perlozzo said that if the first baseman had named a teammate in trying to explain his steroid test, it probably would be best that Palmeiro not return to the team this year.

"If in fact that was true, then it probably would not be a good idea" for Palmeiro to return, Perlozzo said. "It's all speculation as far as I know."
(Espn.com)

So, now what? Palmeiro is damaged goods. No team, not even a A-level minor league team in Mexico, would touch him now. He is done, finished, as a baseball player. There is a better chance of Pete Rose suiting up to play for the Reds next year then there is a chance of Palmeiro playing in Baltimore. He has sunk them, sent them on a course of despair and sorrow as they sink to the bottom on the AL East and the ranks of Major League Baseball.

But, what does this mean to the common person? Does this mean anything? Oh yes, sir, it does not. It is a valuable lesson to teach yr children (indeed, I expect to see this retold in pictures as a children's book in the near future): Never get caught, and when you do get caught (for you will, eventually) never, never, blame it on somebody else. You will made out as a fool, a loser and as an idiot. You will have the stench of Loser on yr back, and you will never get it off. Never.

Just ask Pete Rose. Or Ben Johnson. Or Mike Tyson. Or OJ Simpson. Or, starting next year, Mr. Ralph Palmeiro.

M

Monday, June 20, 2005

Spurs in Six

Wow. Simply wow.

A few years ago (1998, to be exact), Micheal Jordan sank a jump shot to win the NBA Finals for the Bulls.

In 1981 Larry Bird picked up his own rebound and scored, all while falling out of bounds.

And today, just a few hours ago in Detroit, Robert Horry scored with just 5.9 seconds remaining... a huge 3 point jumpshot that put the Spurs ahead by one point.

It was all they needed.

I'll post some more in a bit - I want to let this whole thing sink in a bit, first.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Fall from Grace - An intro

Christ, did you see Tyson on the weekend? He looked like a dead pig, lying on the freeway. It was horrible, a terrible loss and the end of a career.

It doesn't seem like that long ago when Mr. Mike was one of the most feared people in the world - he would demolish his foes in a short time, making them look like fools. Then, about 15 years ago he began to slip in Tokyo. And ever since that fateful loss, it's been a steady downhill fall for Mike... one which hopefully ended with Mike pulling a John Lennon in the 7th round.

Not exactly the way to open a blog, I guess, but whatever. It works about as well as I want to, which truthfully, isn't a whole heck of a lot.

Selah,

M